Paper Hearts
by TimeNebula
Summary: "...And there dwells the brave at heart, their daring, nerve and chivalry set Gryffindors apart."
1. A little bit of your love

He doesn't know she's watching him. He never does. And it doesn't bother her. She is used to being overlooked in favour of others. He doesn't notice her watching him, but others do.

"Is there anything going on between you two?" Ginny asks.

She can't hide the wistfulness in her voice when she says. "No."

Ginny pauses and then asks again, "Do you want there to be?"

She shrugs and looks away, her curls bouncing around, "It doesn't matter."

Ginny drops the subject, and she doesn't need to ask why. After all, she's her best friend and she knows her. And she's his sister, and she knows him.

* * *

One day, she sees him and Angelina holding hands. She observes the way they sneak glances at each other. The way he smirks smugly and the way she smiles, her face lit up in something akin to happiness.

It doesn't bother her. She's glad he has found someone. And if there is a slight pang where her heart is supposed to be, she shrugs it off. She can get used to the ache, she tells herself.

* * *

The day she is visiting the Burrow, she sits on the windowsill, and watches the boys play Quiddich. She hears Ginny come in, but she doesn't turn away.

"Do you love him?" Ginny asks.

She ponders over the term 'love.' One single word, used to describe so many different things. She loves Harry. And she loves Ron. She loves Ginny too. She loves the way they make her feel like a part of something, like a part of a family. She has a family of her own too, but that thought leaves a bittersweet taste in her mouth. Her parents have always been too busy with their careers. The only time they have paid any remotely attention to her was to reprimand her for her flaws, for her failures. They care about her, she knows, and she acknowledges the fact. And she knows that they are never satisfied with who she is. It hurts her, but she welcomes the pain. It makes her feel alive.

She can feel Ginny's patience wearing thin, so she asks her a question of her own, "Do you love Harry?"

Ginny doesn't reply, but she knows that she does.

Hermione sighs, and presses her head to the window, her breath clouding the glass for a moment. When it clears, she can see the world outside with more clarity.

"I may or may not love Fred, I don't know. I won't tell him, and neither will you. He doesn't see me. He looks at me but he doesn't see _me_. And that's okay, that's fine. I'm okay with that. He's happy. That's all that matters."

She turns around and finds Ginny looking at her. She looks sad. She pities her, she knows. She doesn't want to be pitied. Not for something like this.

"Why?" Ginny comes to stand right in front of her, staring into her eyes, as if expecting to find answers in there herself. Perhaps she will. Ginny is like that.

"There's a war coming. I'm not naïve enough to hope that I'll survive. But I got to make sure my boys are alright, yeah?" She whispers, and if she sounds slightly choked, neither mentions it.

Instead Ginny asks again, "Why?"

"I don't deserve him."

She knows she doesn't. She's the girl with a mask on. She's the girl who plasters a smile on her face every day so others don't see how scared she truly is, how alone she feels even in a room full of people. She is the girl who never really belongs. She hides behind her lies and fake smiles. Her mask is the only constant in her life, and she's not naïve enough to think that it will always be that way. One day, her mask will be cracked open, and she knows he deserves something better than that.

Ginny hugs her, and Hermione presses her face in her fiery red hair. She hears Ginny murmur, "I love you."

She smiles, "I know. Harry's a lucky bloke."

Ginny laughs, "Yeah, he is."

"I love you."

Ginny laughs again, the sound muffled by her face buried against her neck, "I know. Fred's an unlucky bloke."

She doesn't reply. She doesn't need to.

She knows that Ginny knows what she will say anyway. That is the thing with Ginny, she knows how fickle paper hearts are. Sooner or later they all crumble. She just hopes that hers holds out for much longer, for her and everyone else's sake.


	2. Goodbye, old friend

When the end comes, she is prepared for it. The final battle has begun and she is ready. "_Tomorrow will be a new day_, _the dawn of freedom_," she tells everyone, before they all separate to fight. _They will make it_, she tells herself. She will see to it. In the chaos of the battle, she sees flashes of green, each one carrying the death of someone; friend or foe, she doesn't know. She hopes it is not her friends. She does not expect herself to survive, but she is praying the others would.

She is battling a nameless death eater when she sees a flash of red in the corner of her eyes. In a moment of recklessness, she takes her eyes off her opponent and turns away to see Fred and Percy battling the minister of magic. Pius Thicknesse, she reminds herself, before she feels hot searing pain in her chest. Struggling to breathe, she turns around to find the death eater she has been battling. He is about to utter the killing curse before she beats him to it. She feels a shadow of regret before she ruthlessly shoves it down and runs towards Fred and Percy. Fred is laughing, but all she sees is the wall behind him come unhinged, crashing down on him. She doesn't hesitate; she sprints towards Fred and pushes him away. He is the last face she sees before she is engulfed in the darkness. _This is it, _she thinks. Her only regret is that she hasn't seen them win, hasn't seen the smile of victory on Harry's face. She hasn't said goodbye to Ginny, but she knows Ginny will understand. They had shared a brief hug before the battle and she knows Ginny will understand what she had not said in words. Ginny is like that, she knows. _This is it_, she thinks once again, and in the in the distance, she hears someone screaming before she is no more.

* * *

When she sees Hermione's body laid out in the Great Hall, all she wants to do is scream. They have won but she doesn't feel victorious at all. She just wants to curl up beside Hermione's body, (_dead body,_ she reminds herself painfully) and never let her go. Harry is beside her, his solid body the only thing holding her upright. He is screaming. He is on the verge of falling on his knees, she knows, but he is being strong for her. He doesn't have to be strong, she wants to tell him, but she can't utter a word. She wants to scream but all sounds have escaped her. Her whole body is shaking. She is crying, she thinks. She is unsteady on her feet, yet she walks forward. Harry follows her, only a step behind, with his arms still around her. The twins and Percy are by Hermione's side, and Fred is cradling her corpse. He is staring at her body like he has never seen her before. He hasn't, she reminds herself, always too wrapped up in Angelina to see her in the way she deserves. Deserved, she corrects herself with a silent sob. Thinking about her in the past tense makes this all too real. Faintly, she hears a scream from somewhere behind her and she knows that Ron is here. She shrugs Harry's arms off and falls on her knees, right beside George. There are tear tracks on George's cheeks, but she pays them no mind. Instead, she stares at Hermione's face. There is dried blood that had at one point trickled down her face but she looks peaceful. There is a ghost of a smile on her lips and it makes Ginny want to fall apart. Yet, she holds herself together, barely, and asks Fred hoarsely, "How?" Fred doesn't answer (he is still staring at Hermione) but Percy does. "The walls were falling on Fred," he says with only a shadow of grief in his voice (He didn't know her too well, she remembers), "and she pushed him out of the way." He stops and looks at Fred for a moment (Fred doesn't even give a glimpse of a reaction to show that he has heard anything) and continues, "She took the fall for him."

She looks behind her for a moment and sees Harry and Ron embracing. _This isn't right_, she thinks, _they were the golden trio. Hermione should be right there with them. _The golden trio has just become a duo and it feels wrong to her. She sees the rest of her family filtering into the Hall. _All alive_, she notes, before she turns back to the corpse of the girl who has (_had, _she reminds herself again) become her sister for all intents and purposes. She hears her mother say, "Our family's survived," from somewhere behind her and she hates her for a moment before remembering that she doesn't know. _It'll break her heart_, she thinks, but she still says, "No, it hasn't." She almost doesn't recognize her own voice, she sounds like a stranger to her own ears. She hears her mother gasp and then she hears Angelina asking her what she means. She doesn't want to talk to Angelina. She doesn't hate her, she knows, but she doesn't want to talk to her. She takes Hermione's body from Fred's arms and gently cradles her. Fred is still staring at Hermione's face. _He is too far gone_, she thinks for a moment, before her attention turns back to the girl in her arms. She gently places a kiss on Hermione's forehead and feels her tears finally making their way down her cheeks.

"Goodbye," she whispers, "Goodbye, old friend."

* * *

Dear Ginny,

If you're reading this letter then it means either of these two things. A, you've been snooping around my things again and found this letter (if that is the case, then I strongly suggest you stop reading it further and place it back where it was before) and B, I've finally gone and gotten myself killed. I am so sorry, love, if that is the case. I am so sorry for leaving you and everyone else, but it was only expected. Death is inevitable. My time just came sooner than later. It's okay. I've accepted it. You should too. I know you, Ginny. I know you'll be angry with yourself, even though I know it was my choice. Mourn me, Ginny, but let me go. Mourn me but please move on with your life. And take care of Harry and Ron for me, will you? Merlin only knows what troubles they'll get themselves into. They will need you, Ginny. Please be strong for them. And don't let them put their lives on hold mourning me. I know I sound arrogant, but I know my boys. The idiots will actually try to do something stupid without me being there to pull them back by their ears. So yes, take care of them. And take care of Fred. Make sure that he's happy and always smiling. The world will be a much darker place without him lighting it up with his laughter. I fell in love with his laughter, so promise me that you will do your best to never let him lose it. And one last thing, Ginny. Please take care of yourself. People may think that only Harry and Ron were my best friends, but they are wrong. You have been my best friend as much as they have. You have been my sister, and I will always love you, even in death. So promise me that you will look after yourself. You deserve only the best, always remember that. And remember that I will watch over you all from wherever I am. Goodbye, old friend. Live a wonderful and happy life.

All my love,

Hermione.

* * *

"When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
When you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too"  
~ Avril Lavigne


End file.
